A little affirmation goes a long way

Gaining a little confidence from praise is quite a thing. It has taken me the best part of two years to start getting mine. A blog on that progress, through stormy seas of self-doubt.

“Nice!”, explodes from the page as a one word comment next to a highlighted three sentences of my methodology chapter. My other supervisor separately emailing me late last night suggesting in review of the now fully written chapter, “I believe it has come a long way!”. Better still, “…this could become a methodology paper”. Perhaps even one to put to the general management community, not just my project management peers.

Wow! That really has put the wind into my sails. Not that I am allowing myself too much celebration, as this is a long line plotted separately upon a busy chart if that is indeed another route to publication. First and foremost, I am still aiming for empirical contribution and that is far from being anything until I actually have some empirical evidence to put forward.

The point of this blog is to share that there is pride in justly winning a genuine compliment from ones betters; betters who one day any PhD candidate will wish to be regarded as a peer. Oil cast on the water of otherwise stormy seas (hence the cover image). I am writing this because there is much self-doubt to fight through when undertaking a PhD. These few moments of praise are therefore to be savoured.

Self-doubt is a good thing, though. Checking charts, keeping close look out, checking one remains ship-shape. If there is no self-doubt, then that is probably worse. I am forever worried my external confidence will be seen as arrogance. I am at the same time, forever battling my doubt, and seemingly destined to forever find the hardest route to safe harbour of a far-away port. A few positive words like these – a first hint that I am now making actual academic progress – and I am ready to be found wanting all over again.

As of 31st July my Annual Progress Report was submitted. My methodology chapter part of that wider brief. I begin my empirical research proper next week. My pilot interview to check my ethically approved interview method does what I want it to. A meeting with an external assessor in mid-September determines if I am progressing well enough, overall. All of this feedback important, therefore. Then October, and year three can begin. Rigging readied, and course set to what I am now clear is left to do.

...to be continued